thoughts of a butterfly

Sunday, October 17, 2004

ruddy heck

I think I will try to get a balance of shallow and deep thoughts on this blog thing. Today the thoughts in my head are pretty darn deep. Firstly I am thinking that I need more stability in my life. It feels so ruddy unstable because I have moved and because I am doing supply work which is very random. The other thing I am thinking is that I want to have a churchless faith in God. By this I mean that if church wasn't part of my life then I'd still have faith in God..that is, I'd still know He created me, loves me, died for me and is with me. The other thing I am thinking is that I dont really know about God's grace. I think I've been living in fear rather than grace. For example, I think...if I don't tithe then the lord won't bless me, if I muck up in relationships God won't give me another, If I don't go to meetings about the holyspirit I'll never be free, If I don't pray every day I wont be healed. I feel quite released because at the moment I think: I can swear, not tithe, not pray and God will still love me (darn it) plus (I THINK) he'll still be able to work in my life and even bless me. What a ruddy revelation. Love Valx

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Thoughts of shallowness

Hey, I can be shallow. I read Marie Claire and this is what I found out about this seasons fashion:
COLOURS: This season's colours are green (all shades) and plum.
STYLE: The 1970's are the influence this season. That means bold print shirts and flaired denims. Think Margaret Thatcher: pussy bow blouses, tweed pencil skirts, round toe shoes, skinny belts, kirby grips, ribbons, bows and brooches.
FABRICS: This season mix and match fabrics for instance, silk, suede and denim. Tweed is also very big.
HAIR: Think curls.

FASHION TIPS: a) Observe people in magasines who are a similar shape and size to you. What suits them (in terms of style not colour) is likely to suit you. b) Ask Kate pickering for a colour consultation: she will be able to tell you what season you are and what colours will suit your complexion and hair colouring. c) Find a well- dressed lady to date or marry. She will (without you realising) transform your wardrobe. You will go from someone without a clue to a man with style. Think Swan or Stickland. d) Ask a friend to go through your wardrobe with you and tell you honestly what does and doesn't suit you. Chuck away the clothes that do nothing for you away even if that means starting over again and walking aroung in your underwear for a few days. e) If you are a little skint good shops are Hennes and New Look. Here, if you look hard enough you can get some good stuff.

Love from Shallow Valx

Monday, October 11, 2004

Deep and shallow thoughts.

My head is full of many thoughts. I am thinking what does God want for me? I think it is just to know that He loves me and to understand why He sent Jesus to die for me. I think I have to shut out all the rest for now. The truth that God created me, loves me and sent Jesus to die for me has gotten buried under all the other stuff. How do I make sure I get it this time and that it affects me completely?
I want to be like strong tree with strong roots so that when the storm comes (and darn this life there will be many storms) it doesn't fall.
And that is one of my thoughts. When I read that back I am quite amused at how deep I am. So now for a shallow comment..curly hair is in this season..I read it in Marie Clare and Naomi Fennel told me. I gave my curling tongs to Oxfam. Gutted. Love Valx

Monday, October 04, 2004

thoughts on investing time

I am thinking what I should invest my time in this year. I am wondering whether I should invest time in getting better at playing like the guitar, singing (altho my voice is quite wrecked at the moment cos my vocal chords are a bit mucked up), song writing (I am pretty darn bad at that). Alex thinks I have musical potential and am wasting it. That is something coming from Alex as he is like, I mean, phenominal at music. I just wondered if anyone that reads this blog thing (and I think some people do cos they tell me) could inspire me. Like, is there anyone I know that wants to meet up to somehow improve together or anything cos I am pretty darn rubbish at sitting in my room on my own with a guitar..cos I just get frustrated and also quite bored too. Any ideas?

The sun is shining

It is sunny out the window, not only that but life is a bit brighter too I think. I am feeling hopeful that my faith will get stronger and I'll be more sure of what I believe one day. I also am feeling hopeful that I will be a bit more like gold after the refining. But it hurts being refined..gutted in the head. On the one hand I wish I hadnt prayed to be refined, on the other hand hopefully it will make me more the girl I was created to be.
I had some wicked parts to my weekend. Catthas gave me some clothes. Wicked..cos it just is. I like Catthas too..she is wicked in many ways. I went out w Alex, Janine (who I think is quite passionate about me) and Charis etc. I like Charis..she is going to find me some jeans.She also had some good stuff to say about God. She is shallow and deep. The chat with Al on Sunday was cool too. He is wise. He is shallow and deep too. They will make a good pair.
Love Valx

Friday, October 01, 2004

Thoughts of life.

Darn it I am wondering if God is refining me...just like it says in the bible...that He will refine us and make us like Gold..cos I kind of feel like I am in a bit of 'fire'. The thing is I'm sure I've been refined before and why arent I like gold yet and why is it painful and how long will it last? I think God also keeps saying to me: "Know the truth and the truth will set you free?". does that mean keep reading the bible (the truth) and keep knowing Him (cause He's the truth as well) and I will be set free like from fear and the other stuff that holds me back from feeling completely free like a free person. Oh I dunno.