thoughts of a butterfly

Sunday, October 17, 2004

ruddy heck

I think I will try to get a balance of shallow and deep thoughts on this blog thing. Today the thoughts in my head are pretty darn deep. Firstly I am thinking that I need more stability in my life. It feels so ruddy unstable because I have moved and because I am doing supply work which is very random. The other thing I am thinking is that I want to have a churchless faith in God. By this I mean that if church wasn't part of my life then I'd still have faith in God..that is, I'd still know He created me, loves me, died for me and is with me. The other thing I am thinking is that I dont really know about God's grace. I think I've been living in fear rather than grace. For example, I think...if I don't tithe then the lord won't bless me, if I muck up in relationships God won't give me another, If I don't go to meetings about the holyspirit I'll never be free, If I don't pray every day I wont be healed. I feel quite released because at the moment I think: I can swear, not tithe, not pray and God will still love me (darn it) plus (I THINK) he'll still be able to work in my life and even bless me. What a ruddy revelation. Love Valx

2 Comments:

  • At 9:41 AM, Blogger Naomi said…

    hey there Valderee

    loving reading your blog (even tho' i can't seem to think what to write on mine!)
    Anyhow chick, reading this post made want to punt a couple of things your way:

    * I'm pretty sure it's not possible to be a Christian and not be part of 'the church', when you become a Christian, you are 'in Christ' and the church is his body... so in fact, even when it doesn't feel like it we've been saved into a community, we're not alone anymore! (which i think is a great thing:)

    * it's true that God graciously working in your life is never conditional on you 'following the rules'. You know that he loves you, that you can't make him love you any less - so doesn't that free you up to respond with love and affection and gifts and stuff? you are right about the fact that it's a grace & freedom thing!

    Also the thing is, if we are co-operating with the Holy Spirit at work in our lives then we'll start doing that stuff, cos done right (i.e. starting from how much God loves us) it gets stuff into its proper perspective... otherwise 'doing what we want' becomes the main thing and not God...
    I just found this verse from Romans 6:21-22 'What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.'

    so there's me ten pence worth!!

    let me know what you think;)

    lots of love
    Naomi

     
  • At 7:32 AM, Blogger Naomi said…

    but, if I didn't make it clear I totally agree with you about living in grace and not fear... go for it, ask God to show us;)!

     

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